Why we should have love for ourselves

Then we get pulled through February at maximum speed with almost zero productivity, well that was me anyway!

Some of us slowed down for the day of love ‘Valentines’.

I survived the over eating of Christmas, I survived the longest month in the year! But it’s a bit ambitious to think those six weeks after Christmas I was going to actually use my JD membership, lose a stone and meet mr right. I’m tired just thinking about it.

This year I was cool about the day of love, I was happy to not be in a relationship. It did help the majority of my mates aside from Miss Davis and Miss Foster, were alone. Not to wish loneliness on anyone but it’s nice to know the majority of your mates are also in a relatable place.

This year I was asked to go out for Valentines twice, not exciting two unsuitable candidate’s for public settings.

Did I want to be taken out on a romantic meal somewhere in Birmingham?

No thanks, I’d rather a medium sized, I mean large! Curry Mutton meal with rice n peas, lots of veg, throw in a dumpling from a 4+ star Caribbean establishment in Wolverhampton.

Do I even have the time or energy for a relationship, the relationship struggles today are just so time consuming. Lets look at the Netflix’s hit series ‘You’.

‘You’ taught me that when a girl launches meticulous investigation on Instagram and watsApp, its not obsessive at all it’s normal productivity. ‘You’ taught me ‘obsessive’ is human sized cage in a storage unit!! Three hours of investigation at 2am in the morning, is fine!! Or is it?!

I sit back and think Valentine’s Day is focused around the love of couples, but it should be a day to celebrate people we love. From this day forward I want to go out for a Valentines meal with my family and friends, minus the lingerie and paddle. I say that now but 2021 Valentines, friends and family I’ll call you!!!

One thing I do want to talk about is relationships, when I was younger people my age were getting married and were well on the way to a family of four. Going to a wedding when I was younger was a regular occurrence. As an adult sad fact is I go to way more funerals.

Marriage just doesn’t seem the general end goal amongst my peers anymore. Only a few people I know still aspire to marriage. But why is that, are we not exposed to enough successful marriages? Are people afraid of that commitment? Is it too expensive?

Why are we settling for these part time situations? I must add we have some amazingly strong beautiful marriages and relationships out here, I just feel it’s not the majority, I could be wrong.

Love seemingly isn’t done the old fashioned way. The chase and energy is broken down by our ability to have quick access to each other heavily sponsored by our friends insta, snap chat and WhatsApp.

Feelings and the truth are just not freely put on the table.

I remember having a conversation with someone about ‘who we are with’ having ‘types’ ‘the amount of sexual encounters we have’. This person was completely in their own world doing whatever made them happy and was seemingly transparent just doing his own thing . It made me reflect, are we focused too much on others and then building unrealistic relationships.

So setting aside all of the above, one thing I do know is loving ourselves warts and all is the most important thing we can do. Having love for ourselves puts us in a better position to love someone else because we will protect what we love. My current position is loving myself.