A day in the life of single and middle aged women

Talking Point | Published:

Talking Point columnist Jan Denning discusses the fun of being a single, middle-aged female

Jan Denning

How did middle age arrive so soon, and, I have to say, by surprise too?

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Of course, I know my age, but it is still a massive realisation when I have to declare it, or is that just me?

Being a single, middle-aged female is fun for sure. It also has its challenges, trying to fit in full-time work, hobbies, family, friends, chores, and trying to fit in a bit of on-line dating too!

So, a typical day …

At 6.30am it’s up and shower. I’m gentle washing my hair as I’ve noticed it seems much thinner lately and I’m ‘malting’ constantly. I check the bar on the vacuum, blonde hair wound all around it. How much longer will I have hair? I wonder, do I have to think about that ‘old lady’ style, does that time have to come? No, I’m sure it’s different now. It’s a constant battle keeping the ‘greys’ at bay too.

Last weekend, I changed my usual hair colourant brand to try and tone down my blonde . . . eeek, I think I’m now grey and ginger and I have a date this week.

A couple of business meetings in the day. A hot flush decides to remind me I’m not so cool. I thought I knew what hot was, but no, you never really know how hot is hot until you’ve experienced a middle age hot flush. Even the recent record temperatures don’t come close, who knew knees sweat? Ah, sorry, I’m a lady, knees glow!


Back to my desk and the laptop, I have to save some items in The Cloud.

The Cloud worries me. Exactly what is in that ‘cloud’ of mine? I found a photograph, I mean pic (that’s the modern, younger term for photograph) that I hadn’t seen for years and I absolutely do not remember saving it to ‘the cloud’! A text comes through from a friend for a beach party, with the request ‘wear your bikini’! Yet another reminder of age. Why does everything drop and expand, and I mean everything? No, I’m not wearing a bikini, I won’t even consider wearing a bathing costume if I’m not on the beach.

I receive a Snapchat message, I’m pretty app savvy but nope, really don’t get Snapchat, although . . . you can make yourself look really young with those filters. This gets me thinking as to whether I should update my dating profile pictures with these. Imagine the look of surprise on your date’s face when you don’t wear florescent spectacles, don’t have panda ears, oh and look 20 years older.

My day closes with a visit to the dating site. I don’t use Tinder, that’s for younger-than-middle-aged folk. I subscribe to a more conventional site, yet I still despair. As I mentioned at the opening of this note, I do think of myself as younger than my age. As you can imagine, it’s more than disheartening when your potential love interests have profile names like, ‘make me smile again’, a 44-year-old profile name ‘before it’s too late’. Then the guys that if they don’t look like your grandad (yes they are around your age) they think it’s a great profile picture to be holding up a big fish, kissing a dolphin or have smeary spectacles.

Anyway, off to bed, with the presupposition of getting up at least once for the loo!

  • Jan Denning is the founder and MD of Destination Wolverhampton & The Black Country and co-director of Signature Sales Support & Representation


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