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Peter Rhodes on Devon for oldies, Boris as a victim and a smart phone in your body

By Peter Rhodes | Peter Rhodes | Published:

Read today's column from Peter Rhodes.

Bold as Brock

Beer, Devon.

AND off to Devon for the off-season break spookily predicted by a reader a few days ago. Welcome to term-time Devon with all the kids removed and entirely replaced by pensioners. This is Beer after the Pied Piper called and, if it is eerily quiet, at least you don't get elbowed off the pavement by lardy ten-year-olds clutching water wings.

WE have been coming here since the 1970s, that long-forgotten era when music was better, everybody was happier and badgers knew their place. Back then, Brock was an endangered species and rarely seen. But there was a famous colony just over the hills at Branscombe and, if you were very patient on a summer's evening, you might just catch a fleeting glimpse of badgers at play. These days, they shove the gate aside at Chateau Rhodes and gorge on our fallen apples in broad daylight.

THE day before we set off for Devon I stood on my doorstep and snapped a young badger no more than 10 feet away. Bold as brass, he posed for several shots before ambling off. I would not surprised if we return from Devon to find badgers tucked up in our beds. I blame David Attenborough.

AS you will be aware, Boris Johnson is not my favourite politician. But I suspect the sight of serried ranks of MPs lining up to frustrate his Brexit plans will strike a couple of chords in the British psyche. The first is our dislike of bullying, especially when it involves large numbers of people with nothing in common forming dodgy alliances in the name of "the people." The second, revealed in that fascinating "strong leader" opinion poll a few days ago, is the belief that leaders should be allowed to lead and not get endlessly bogged down by Parliament.

UNTIL now, Boris has come across as all ballyhoo, bluster and broken promises. But as the anti-Boris forces sneer and posture (did you see the Plaid Cymru leader Liz Saville Roberts promising to "break Boris," for heaven's sake?), watch out for the emergence of that most potent political force, Boris the Underdog.

A READER tells me he's been reading about the next generation of mobile phones being installed in our bodies, probably in the throat. He's attracted to the idea but his wife says she'd wring his neck.

HEADLINE writers dream of incidents like the motorway crash last week when 7,000 gallons of gin was spilled on the M6 in Cheshire. The alcohol was Schwepped away. Spirits were high . It happened in the sloe lane. Major gincident. And so on. Mind you, when it comes to punny headlines, the richest source of all, strangely enough, is the sea. Any incident involving marine animals is an act of cod, a turtle surprise or a whale of a time. These days, of course, some headline writers find their inspiration online. Others flounder.

Peter Rhodes

By Peter Rhodes

Award-winning columnist and blogger. Keeping an eye on the tribulations and trivia of a fast-changing world

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