Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on the death of a turtle, the case for a new political party and a tea towel in very poor taste

Read today's column from Peter Rhodes.

Published
Turtle-friendly Liz Bonnin

OWN up. Anybody else laugh when the wicked seagull gobbled up the sweet baby turtle in Blue Planet Live (BBC1)? The Twittersphere erupted in predictable shock, horror and outrage after Liz Bonnin helped release a few tiny turtlettes by the Great Barrier Reef. She then turned to camera to explain how precarious was their life, how fraught their frantic dash to the sea, how unlikely they were to make it to adulthood. And then, unseen by her, in an opportunistic nano-second, the gull pounced. Okay, so it wasn't funny. But it was ironic.

ON the one hand, we saw the BBC's kindly, concerned emissary of enlightened humankind, saving the frail little creature. On the other, we witnessed the flashing wing, merciless eye and darting beak of real Nature, in all its random unpleasantness. The turtle incident quite made up for all those Blue Planet Live minutes spent hoping that Steve Backshall, introducing us to his new best mates the sharks, might get nipped by one of them. Thanks for a great series, Auntie. And on behalf of the seagull, thanks for lunch.

NOW supposing, just supposing, Liz Bonnin had spotted the approaching seagull, grabbed a stick and whacked the bird, would she be praised for saving the baby turtle? Dream on. She would have been lambasted for interfering with nature. The old showbiz mantra is as true today as ever: never work with children or animals (unless, of course, you want to earn a fortune and get sent all over the world).

A NEW poll suggests more than half of all voters no longer identify strongly with either of the two main parties. Pundits say this means the time is ripe for the rise of a new political party. We'll see. In my limited experience, new political parties are rather like those newspapers which burst on the scene promising to concentrate on good, happy, life-affirming news. It turns out nobody really wants them.They tend to be like the bad actor described by Shakespeare who "struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more."

ACCORDING to one report, Brexit campaigners in London were harangued by Remainers shouting "idiots" and "racists." This contradicts the general assumption in the media that while Brexiters are a bit on the rough side, Remainers are genteel, well-educated, and civilised. So it may come as a surprise to learn that Remainers are being invited online to buy an anti-Brexit commemorative tea towel. It features 60 portraits of old folk and comes with the charming caption: "People who voted for Brexit who are now dead." The truth is there's good and bad on both sides of this national debate. But it's also true that just because you are genteel, it doesn't always mean you're a nice person.

AND it doesn't mean you've got much of a head for a bargain, either. The anti-Brexit tea towel costs £18.