Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on a dirty discussion in Davos, the joy of Vikings and starting the day with a gargle

Read today's column from Peter Rhodes

Published
Read today's column from Peter Rhodes

AT risk of criticising two national treasures, wasn't the Prince William / David Attenborough encounter at Davos a great opportunity missed? They did it in the dirty, polluting, 20th century way, travelling from Britain to meet in another country. Here was the perfect chance to show off the clean, green future, with HRH asking the questions from his study in Windsor and Sir David providing the answers from his home. Neither would have wasted a single litre of aviation fuel or damaged the ozone layer.

FOR years we have had the video-conferencing technology to do such things with ease, yet we cling to the belief that a meeting is only real if it happens face-to-face. As long as we live in the 20th century over such things, the great issues of the 21st century will never be recognised, let alone cured.

THANKS for your Brexit-related views on economists, especially this one: If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they would never reach a conclusion.

ACCORDING to the Archbishop of Canterbury's latest revelation, he and I have something in common. We both start the day by making a series of unintelligible noises. He calls his "speaking in tongues." I call mine "gargling." And if any evangelist happy-clapper can prove that the archbishop's ululations bring a miserable sinner any closer to the Almighty than my gargling, I'd be delighted to see it.

IVAN Kaye plays the deliciously-despicable King Aelle in the MGM series Vikings. He has many evil ways of disposing of his enemies but his favourite is to chuck them into a pit of venomous serpents. In real life, Kaye has just emerged from a gruelling court case in which his neighbour was ordered to pay £100,000 for harassing him in his London flat. Kaye told the court the experience left him "exhausted, depressed and mortified." So much so that he took a course of action which was altogether more hideous than anything King Aelle could have dreamed up. He moved out and rented his flat to students.

MEANWHILE, I am ploughing through the first five seasons of Vikings and loving it. It may have been overshadowed by Game of Thrones but Vikings has the advantage of some truly astonishing battle scenes and a passing resemblance to real history. I defy anyone to watch Vikings and not grasp the terror our Anglo-Saxon forbears felt at the sight of a hundred longships sailing into the bay.

THE above item should, of course, read "your Anglo-Saxon forbears." My ancestors were ginger farmers in the Yorkshire Dales so I dare say we descend from Vikings. This may explain my passion for sailing but it doesn't explain why I'm not very good at it.

I SHOULD stress that although I may be spending four hours a day glued to Vikings, I'm not hooked. Oh, no. I can kick it whenever I choose. With Odin's help.