Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on overspending at Albert Square, one benefit of climate change and an exquisite TV drama

Exquisite

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Exquisite - Ann Skelly in Death and Nightingales

THE New York Times, preparing a feature on crime in London, invited Brits to report petty crime they had experienced in the capital. From a tidal wave of mild-mannered sarcasm, I particularly enjoyed this outrage: "I ordered a tea and they put the milk in first."

I ASSUMED somebody had left out a decimal point in the report that the BBC was spending £87 million rebuilding the set for EastEnders. Apparently not. Auntie is blowing the equivalent of 580,000 TV licenses in order that a bunch of miserable Cockneys can snarl at each other in a more realistic setting, and generally add to the coarsening of British public life. The scheme is £27 million over budget. A BBC spokesman says: "We are keeping the project under close scrutiny." Yeah, right. Muppets.

NOW, I fully accept that some of my readers believe the BBC is such a magnificent national treasure that any criticism is akin to blasphemy. But come on - £87 million for a TV film set? You could build a real residential square for that much.

ON the other hand, credit where it is due. BBC2's Death and Nightingales, based on Eugene McCabe's tale of love, hatred and betrayal in 19th century Ireland, was one of the most exquisitely crafted dramas we have seen for ages.

EIGHT days to go and one of the three vital ingredients of a traditional Christmas is still missing. First, we have ticked off the "winter wonderland" phenomenon when angry parents and tearful kids complain about a yuletide event. The Swansea "Christmas Parade," described as "like a car-boot sale" took that award. Next, we've had the Santa who loses his temper and makes the toddlers cry; that happened in Cambridgeshire last week. But, at the time of writing, there's no sign of the third part of the sacred yuletide trinity, the traditional dopy vicar who tells his young congregation that there is no Santa. Oh, why are we waiting?

NEXT week sees all the pressy-giving and turkey-stuffing but this week is the important one, for it brings the solstice. And we have got here with hardly a single harsh frost or ice on our roads. As a teenage trainee reporter in the 1960s, one of my saddest jobs was to knock on the doors of families bereaved in winter road accidents to ask for a photo and a few words for an obituary. Many of these tragedies happened just before Christmas. Mild weather saves lives and if this unwintry winter is caused by climate change, then climate change may not be wholly bad.

DALIA Grybauskaitė, President of Lithuania, sent this Xmas message to Brexit-mired Britain: "Christmas wish: finally decide what you really want and Santa will deliver." Seriously, has Theresa May considered sending her Brexit deal up the chimney to Santa? It's got to be worth a try.

INCIDENTALLY, why does the Lithuanian name Dalia sound dead cool, mysterious and sexy in an 007, cloak-and-daggerish sort of way but the English equivalent just sounds like Dahlia?