Peter Rhodes on dogs acting like wolves, a Groundhog Day life and a sales pitch for Novichok

A SURVEY by a mineral-water company suggests most Brits are stuck in a Groundhog Day existence, endlessly repeating the same conversations, same breakfasts, same dinner, same holiday destinations, same advice to children, and so on. But what has any of this to do with bottled water? A spokeswoman for the company declares: "We’re all naturally driven to make the most of every day and being properly hydrated helps us get there." Advertising - same old cobblers.

TALKING of which, here's a new advert: It's the deadliest nerve agent ever invented! It penetrates the latest protective suits! A single drop can kill an entire army in seconds! Especially effective against old Russians and their daughters! Novichok - it doesn't do exactly what it says on the tin.

THE Salisbury incident is turning into a sort of test of patriotism. If you believe the official government line, then you are a good egg. If you happen to think, like Mr Corbyn and me, that the speculation and accusations should not have raced ahead of the hard evidence, you are a "useful idiot" doing the Kremlin's work. I am expecting a sackful of roubles any day now.

"ROVER! Rover!" It is that time of year again. In a field up the road a handsome young pointer is bounding. Half a mile away, his owner is plaintively screaming the dog's name. This is probably not an untrained dog. He may well have attended all those puppy "socialising" classes that everyone thinks are so important. He can sit, lie, fetch and walk to heel on command. But let him off the lead on a warm spring day when the air hangs heavy with the whiff or rabbits and he'll be off like a rocket. And when he stops and seems to be sniffing the ground, he's not. He's killing skylark chicks or baby hares or whatever else he can find. I was once walking a neighbour's dog when it slipped the lead for only a few seconds. In that brief moment it was into a field and wolfing down a litter of tiny, hairless critters. Voles, perhaps. You can't blame dogs for being wolves and you can't blame owners for being taken by surprise when their family pooch reverts to wolf. All you can do is hope they recover the animal before it does any serious harm or the farmer shoots it.

POLICE may soon get new powers to remove travellers from unauthorised sites. We will believe it when we see it. The lesson so far is that once their caravans are in place and they have told the police that one of the wives is pregnant, whatever the law says, they're going nowhere.

MEANWHILE, mice have reappeared in the house, the garden is full of rabbits, a pheasant has built a nest under one window and the other night a big, self-confident rat wandered across the yard. On the plus side, the dawn chorus is noisier than ever. What has changed? It is six weeks since our old tabby cat died.