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Mark Andrews on Saturday: Demos attract some very funny people

By Mark Andrews | Opinions | Published:

Read today's column from Mark Andrews.

Siobhan Prigent at the anti-Trump rally

THAILAND'S military leaders have decided that Bangkok's notorious red-light district is in need of a bit of an image makeover, and suggests it should be remodelled along the lines of Bourton-on-the-Water.

Now I've never been to Thailand, let alone the Rattanakosin Island vice zone. But I imagine it will take a bit more than prime minister Prayut Chan-o-Cha's proposal to plant yellow star flowers along the canals, and paint old buildings a soothing shade of yellow.

Still it's nice to see the Thai authorities learning a bit from British culture. I do hope the authorities in the Cotswolds will not try to return the favour though.

Bourton-on-the-Water – template for Bangkok red light district?

THE makers of HP Sauce have decided to mark the restoration work being carried out at the House of Commons by with a special edition label, showing the Elizabeth tower is now covered in tarpaulin.

A lovely touch, it makes one feel really proud to be British. But it would be even nicer if they actually started making HP Sauce in Britain again.

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OH the irony. The anti-Trump protestor at the front of the baying mob attacking a grandfather for not sharing her world view turned out to be the director of a private company making money by providing ‘management consultancy’ for the NHS. No wonder she wants that 'off the table'.

Siobhan Prigent, bulging eyes and barnet like a tea cosy, was caught on camera snarling obscenities in the face of the un-named Trump supporter, accusing him of being a Nazi, and cheering when he was bundled to the ground and doused in milkshake. Her family must be so proud.

What motivates these people? I can only assume it is some form of escapism. Day after day you sit in front of a dull computer screen, typing out turgid reports in indecipherable gobbledegook about 'strategies', ‘outcomes’ and ‘pathways’. Then, you take a day off work, pull on the “F*** off Trump” T-Shirt and you’re the star turn in a Wolfie Smith tribute act. Each to their own I guess, but I think they would do better joining an am-dram society.

That said, the pro-Trump lot are pretty strange as well. Whatever makes a middle-aged British man, who has probably never travelled further than Torremolinos, want to wear a ‘Make America Great Again’ baseball cap and get involved in arguments about the government of a foreign country?

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It makes you wonder if everything is all that is seems.Remember the Alan Bleasdale drama GBH, where a city was taken over by violent hooligans after the council was infiltrated by militants? In the end, most of them turned out to be MI5 agents creating a bit of extra work for themselves. The truth is out there...

SmartWater: the police's new weapon against nuisance moped riders

STAFFORDSHIRE Police have come up with a novel way to catch illegal moped riders wreaking havoc on Cannock Chase – spraying them with SmartWater.

Police officers will lie in wait in the woods, and when one of the illicit motorcyclists roars past, they will jump out with an aerosol and douse them in an invisible but traceable liquid.

What I don’t understand is, given that SmartWater is invisible, how the police will actually track the offenders down in the first place. Sure, once they have found them they can test their clothes, but it still seems a bit of a needle in a haystack.

Here’s an alternative suggestion. Instead of using SmartWater, why don’t they use a paintball gun instead. Far easier to spot. And lots more fun.

Mark Andrews

By Mark Andrews
@MAndrews_Star

Senior news writer for the Shropshire Star specialising in in-depth features and commentary, investigative reporting and political matters.

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