Express & Star

The Swallows Nest, Romsley

A dilemma over a missing apostrophe did not spoil good meal, writes our undercover meal reviewer, The Insider.

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A dilemma over a missing apostrophe did not spoil good meal,

writes our undercover meal reviewer, The Insider

.

It was once said that the man who never made a mistake never made anything. Wise words, but for those with a more pragmatic outlook on life, here is The Insider's own proverb for the 21st century: If you're going to make a mistake, please don't do it in huge letters on the side of a pub.

I refer, of course, to the missing apostrophe.

I realise you probably haven't lost much sleep over this matter, but put yourself in my position; can you imagine the anguish I have been through, deliberating over whether I should call it The Swallow's Nest (the nest belonging to one swallow), The Swallows' Nest (more than one swallow sharing the same nest), or The Swallows Nest, the incorrect way it has been written – in five different places – on the outside of this building?

That signwriter has a lot to answer for.

It's just as well, then, that The Swallows Nest – I will go with the flow on this occasion – has a party piece that will brighten the mood of even the grumpiest punctuation pedant. But more of that later.

The pub, part of the Vintage Inns chain, is situated on the main road through the leafy village of Romsley, about three miles from Halesowen town centre.

It dates back to 1825, and used to be known as the Fighting Cocks, and a previous landlady was so fond of the place that she had her ashes scattered in the cellars.

From the outside it looks quite attractive, with clean off-white rendering and a smart vintage-style lamp post. There are two car parks, one either side of the pub, but they do look a little ramshackle, and those requiring wheelchair access will need to make their way up a slope and then along the footpath to the main entrance at the front.

But these gripes pale into insignificance when you make your way towards the back of the pub – what a view.

Perhaps it would be over egging the pudding to describe it as breathtaking, but in all the time I have been writing this column, I can't remember seeing a view to rival it.

Miles and miles of rolling hills; there is nothing to indicate this from the roadside. No wonder so many people were choosing to dine alfresco on the attractive decking area.

Indeed it was tempting to follow their lead, but as there was a seat right next to the window, it didn't really seem necessary.

The pub itself is fairly typical of the Vintage Inns chain; rustic and relaxed, although it does seem much smaller on the inside than it looks from the road; a sort of Tardis in reverse, if you like.

It seems to be popular, with several tables already having been reserved by the time we arrived. On the table next to us, four generations of the same family were celebrating the grandfather's birthday, with the younger members of the group educating their grandad about the joys of text-messaging speak.

Behind us were two middle-aged couples who had booked in advance, presumably to celebrate a special occasion, and the bubbly was already on ice, waiting for them, when they arrived.

I had been told that all Vintage Inns now offer a full table service, where a member of staff comes and takes your order, but that did not appear to be the case on this occasion, and after waiting a while, I ordered at the bar.

Ale drinkers are reasonably well catered for with a choice of Everard's Tiger, Marston's Pedigree and Ubu Purity, and there is also a decent wine list. I've been wanting to try the Ubu for a while, but it's a little on the strong side, so I settled for the Tiger – a refreshing, balanced, hoppy beer with a bronze colour.

The menu is the usual Vintage Inns selection of traditional pub favourites with a modern twist, such as the apple and pork sausages, or the braised pork belly with chorizo, honey roasted apple and rosemary, and the main menu is supplemented with a choice of daily specials.

There is also a children's menu and a fixed price menu for daytime diners. There should be something for most people, although the vegetarian choice is a little limited.

The sun was out so I went for the summer lamb shank. Nicely cooked, soft and tender without too much bone, it came in a pleasant rich jus, and the dauphinoise potatoes were excellent. They came with a variety of summer vegetables, peppers, broccoli and aubergines. My only criticism would be that it was not the most filling of meals; I briefly contemplated ordering a side order of chips once it arrived, but the moment had passed.

My dining companion enjoyed the hunter's chicken – or Hunters Chicken as it was written in the menu, grrr – saying that the barbecue sauce was excellent.

For afters I chose the chocolate brownie, and waitress Claire thoughtfully brought two spoons in case we wanted to share. Smothered in a thick fudge sauce, it was a pleasant way to finish off the meal, but I would have perhaps liked a little more.

The total bill was £36.70, about what you would expect to pay in a mid-to-upper market pub, the food was good, and the service was pleasant and efficient. But what really sets this apart from the other pubs is that wonderful view; I could happily while away a day in that garden, sipping wine or ale as I take in the scenery. Wonderful.

But something really needs to be done about that sign. If you ever spot a guy emerging under a cloak of darkness, with a tin of black paint in one hand and a set of ladders in the other, that will probably be the day when The Insider's cover is finally blown.

ADDRESS

The Swallows Nest, 40 Bromsgrove Road, Romsley, Halesowen B62 0LF

Telephone: 01562 711236

Web: www.vintageinn.co.uk/theswallowsnestromsley/findus

MENU SAMPLE

STARTERS

Fried dusted calamari served with a smoked paprika and lime mayonnaise £5.45; Beer battered mushrooms served with garlic dip £3.95; Chicken liver, pork and mushroom pâté served with toast and Cumberland chutney £4.75

MAINS

9oz sirloin steak with onion rings, plum tomato, iceberg wedge with caesar dressing and chips £13.75; Wild Scottish venison steak garni with chips £16.45; Chargrilled gammon and eggs with pineapple, seasoned chips and garden peas £7.55; Beef, mushroom and Black Sheep ale pie, served with mash and seasonal greens £8.95; Roasted Mediterranean vegetable risotto served with baby spinach and a crumbed confit tomato £8.25

DESSERTS

Banoffee cheesecake £4.95; Treacle tart, served warm with clotted cream £4.45; Sicilian lemon sponge served with crème fraiche £4.45

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